My mother is being pissy about everything to do with my wedding! How do I stop the insanity?
I shall start at the beginning. She loves my fiance, totally approves and is very happy we're getting married and she wants to give me $4000 to help with the wedding. Very nice. I asked her to come wedding dress shopping with me, and she canceled at the last minute. It just so happens that I found the dress of my dreams while she wasn't there. So I'm going crazy over this dress and emailing it to my friends and family and it's positively THE DRESS, and I take my mom to see it the next day and she's like "Harumph" So a few weeks later, I'm talking to her on the phone about the wedding and she's like "I think you should look at dresses again" and I'm like "But why, when I've found THE ULTIMATE?" So then I found the place for the ceremony/reception, took her to see it, and I was telling her which room I thought would be good for the ceremony, and she's like "Do people DO that?" and I told her I want something like barbecue or some other not-so-expensive-not-so-fancy food, and she's like "No hors d'oeurve platter?? Do people DO that?" "You want beer? Do people DO that?" and so on and so on. Apparently every idea I have isn't something people DO. I told her I don't know or really care what kind of centerpieces we have. I don't want to spend a lot of money on flowers or decorations (the place is already gorgeous!) and apparently that's not something people DO either :( My maid of honor found a really cute, way affordable dress at J.Crew for bridesmaid dresses. Awesome. I alert all the bridesmaids and tell them I was thinking brown, they all like it except my sisters, who like it in red better. I was anti-red for my wedding colors (I'm worried it'll look like valentines day), but I'm like "Alright. Everyone cool with red?" Everyone's cool with red. I guess I can be cool with red, too. So now we have the whole bridesmaids dress AND color scheme thing covered. Except my mom's like "J.Crew.? Do people DO that? I thought you didn't like red!" and I'm all "I got over it" and she's like "Well we're going to make your sister try on the more ugly, expensive bridal shop dresses anyway." So that brings us to today, when she and my sister went with me to order my AMAZING dress. I tried it on and she starts saying all these things she doesn't like about it and I need to try on other dresses, and even the lady at the bridal shop was all "She's pretty much already tried on the whole store", so my mom makes me try on all these reject dresses again and she's pointing at every other dress saying "Isn't this one pretty?" and at this point it seems like she'd be happy with me picking any dress but the one I've fallen in love with! And during this whole occasion (which is supposed to be happy!) she's sitting there with her arms crossed going HARUMPH! SIGH! SCORN! I had been telling her this whole time that other than the actual marriage, the dress is the only part of the wedding b.s. that's really important to me, and I loved that one dress so much if she talked me into a different one, I would feel like I'd settled and I wasn't going to be able to wear MY wedding dress to my wedding, because I'd be stuck in someone else's, and we could do whatever she or anyone else wanted with the whole rest of the wedding. I told her she didn't have to buy it for me if money was a thing, I'd gladly pay for it myself, and she looked so scandalized, like how DARE even suggest such a thing. She finally agreed to put down the deposit for them to order it, and by then I felt so guilty and awful, like I'd just majorly wronged her. According to my sister and her husband, my mom did the same thing when they were planning their wedding, and said it only gets worse from here once we get into flowers, catering, and (dreadfully) centerpieces, and all that other b.s. I always thought wedding planning would be fun, but she's making it into cosmic mother-daughter battle! How do I get her to chillax and have fun during all of this??

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